Drifting Along

Seems to be the theme of my days now. An endless cycle of logging in, checking the job websites, maybe an interview- and then attempting to figure out what to do with the remaining 14 hours in the day- that doesn't involve spending money.

Maybe it is the heat of summer or the realization that if I walk out the door, I'm going to spend money. Or, it could simply be that I reached my final birthday in my 30's. That was a stunning realization. Oh my god- where did the last 10 years go? Irony? I'm in EXACTLY the same place I was this time 10 years ago. Out of work, facing a career change and freaking out about money. Scary- you bet. 5 year plan.... yeah, right- 'scuse me while i fall on the floor and laugh my #ss off.

I sat here yesterday and indulged in a good, old fashioned pity party. Yes, I'd like some whine for the cheese. And, why shouldn't I? Right after I got fired- or released from Energy Hell as I prefer to think of it, I hit the ground running. I was calling recruiters as I left the parking garage. Rather like the time immediately after someone dies, I got distracted with survival mode, making sure plans were made, unemployment and health insurance arranged- somewhere in there, I forgot to allow myself some time to cry, get pissed and grieve. I miss my paycheck. I miss the few friends I had there more.

Now, the constant rejection settles in- and it is sometimes hard to keep positive. I turned down an offer, early into my search because I knew it wasn't enough to support me. Now, comes the second guessing. I'm horrible with free time on my hands- and not so disciplined with sitting down to "work" on finding a job every single day.

And, having lymes has made me shift in different directions. When you have 4 good hours a day, how do you make the most of them? Lately, my days and nights are totally shifted- they've been doing construction at night, right below my bedroom window for months. I begin to twitch at the sight of a construction worker now. Maybe the Vampire Blood Bank has openings?

No answers, only more questions. Maybe one of these days I'll figure out what I'm supposed to do when I grow up- or not.

Her Snarkiness Speaks....

Greetings Minions,
The human is out of the house and being the absent minded ditz, left the computer operational.

News from the Realm:
My enforced winter exile draws to a close in a few short weeks. Arrangements for summer progress will begin soon. It is time for us to journey to the distant borders of our realm and keep the peasants in good order.

Progress is a joyous time. We escape our human keepers, greet the public, wreak havoc at the pavilions and frolic with the the court musicians. The rule of the Faire- dragons always win. Our reward is the loser of the joust. And, tasty they are indeed. Marinated and spit roasted knight- quite the delicacy, especially when accompanied by a fine mead. Ah, rustic living- at times, playing peasant is an amusing diversion.

By some planetary disaster, a hatchling has entered our midst. She is petite, pink, flighty and extraordinarily odd. She happily slobbers on rose quartz. It is my duty to sit upon her and school her in proper dragon snark and etiquette. Thankfully, she does not reside in Palace Mayne. Poor Lord Barney- he has his claws full. Last I saw him, he was looking decidedly frazzled. Note to Human- obtain gin for him. IMMEDIATELY!

And, the Human returns.. must attend to pressing business in the realm.

C
Empress of the Entire Universe

Patience may be a virtue, but.....

Maybe it is an overrated one. Patience escapes me. I've been waiting to hear feedback on a flurry of job interviews this week, waiting for test results to see if the lymes levels dropped in my system, very eagerly awaiting a delivery of new rubber stamps from my favorite source and most of all, waiting to hear what I'm supposed to do next with my life.


Early this morning, I had the thought of pulling out a tarot deck and reading for myself. It's been quite some time. Generally, if I'm in full out ADD mode I can't even shuffle a deck. It takes focus to read. I don't use tarot cards in my bedroom- opens too many channels for thought and that keeps me from resting at night.

Also had a thought to do some cleaning, but I got over it quickly. Right now, I'm watching from the bedroom window to pounce as soon as the mail hits the box. If the stamps arrive today, I can finish my project. That would be a wonderful feeling- and once the project is done, I'll feel like getting organized.

The tempo of my days lately seems to be presto and adagio- hurry up and wait. Not my favorite song, but for now, I have to learn how to stay with the orchestra.

Chaos 10, Order 0

If I could find the digital camera, I'd take photos to show the current state of my hovel. Lordy, it is getting the best of me for sure. Hello TLC? Please send out the hoarder's intervention team.

Last trip to Borders, I was browsing through the Fly Lady's books. I like the idea of 15 minute segments. May be just the right ticket- since I have ADD and the attention span of a flea lately. I think I can stick with one task for 15 minutes. Maybe.


In keeping with the upheaval theme, I have a cable company dude crawling on the roof, half my living room torn apart and now, I may have to empty the closet to give him access to a cable wire. The cable company made me switch to digital cable, and since then, the tv is having hissy fits. Yes, I need to clean out the closet. Yes, it is time to find my summer clothes. No, I have absolutely no desire to do this. I just lucked out- no need to empty the closet. And, no need to replace my television set. Huge relief on all sides. I don't have the money to replace the tv set and lack the energy to tackle my closet.

Now, if those wonderful little pile blasting house-elves would come home, I'd be all set.

My LIfe in Movie Titles...

It came to me last night that I could apply at least 30 movies titles to describe life in the past 5 years- there truly is a movie for every situation:

Insomniac: Sleepless in Seattle
Family Dynamic: The ADDAMS Family, Addams Family Value
Praying for real email: You've Got Mail
Spark of Creative Genius: Young Frankenstein
Studying for Exams: Mel Brooks' History of the World
Job Hunting: Monty Python's Holy Grail
My job at LD: Nightmare on Elm Street
Puppy wrangling in Vermont: The Beethoven movies (ya know, the ones with the st. Bernard)
Weddings: My Best Friend's Wedding
New Baby- Not Mine!: 9 months
Attempting to play basketball: Air Bud- believe me, the dog looks like Michael Jordan compared to me.
Dressing for my cousin's wedding after a red eye flight to California: corpse bride
Spending time with my family at said wedding: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Jury Duty: Time to Kill
Christmas retail season beginning in August: nightmare before Christmas
Spring Insect Visitation: Beetlejuice
Fall Mouse Visitation: Stuart Little
Mom's Passing- Steel Magnolias, StepMom or Terms of Endearment
Getting revenge on dad's near miss engagement to the great white widower shark: first wives club.. best line in that movie.. don't get mad, get everything.
Walking to HR to get fired: Dead Man Walking
Road Trip to Vermont with a good friend of mine: Thelma and Louise
Craving a trip to an alternate reality: Wizard of Oz
Watching my uncle trashed out of his mind at my cousin's wedding: Saturday night fever.. oooh yes, disco is alive and well.
Getting in touch with my inner villainous diva/queen of swords (for you non-tarot folk, she is the queen who tells it like it is- and doesn't hesitate to cut you in the process): Little Mermaid and Snow White
Finding a man who does my bidding: Princess Bride- Wesley was a wise man... "As you wish" should be a part of male vocabulary training.
Being reminded that flirting with the wrong man can be deadly: The Other Boleyn Girl

And, there you have it.. my life in movie titles. Try it- lot harder than you think.

I now return you to our regularly scheduled tedium.

Greetings Humans

AHA! Finally, an opportunity to get my lovely little claws on the keyboard and play with the human's blog.

Greetings Loyal Minions. I am Cordelia de DragonSnoot. Empress and High Ruler of all Known and Unknown Realms and Universes. Bow and pay tribute- squirming burlap sacks with squeaky toys, amaretto truffles, chests of gold, Chaucer mead and shiny, pointy, sparkly offerings will win you favor. to the one who gifts me with a wolfhound puppy, your place in the realm is secure forever.


I am a rare and precocious Guardian Housedragon. My mission, when I lower myself to perform it is guarding my human caretaker's hearth. She refers to said hovel as Palace Mayne- I call it my temporary purgatory. Until she removes my wards, this meager throne is where I remain imprisoned. Rose Quartz and Moonstone need immediate smiting. I loathe them. To be fair, the Human does on occasion allow me off my perch. So far, I have travelled to Rennie Faires in 3 realms, added my insights to tarot workshops and sometimes get to ride in my chariot when the weather fairies do my bidding.

My most loyal companion is Lord Barney, Lord High Master of Merryment, Mayhem and Marinades. He is the fortunate one. His human grants him access to the gin, freedom to come and go and also entry into the tarot decks, crystals and other fun toys that must sneak around and attempt to snatch when my human is unaware.

Oh bother... the human just saw the dragonslobber on the keyboard...

Until we meet again....

C

Empress of the Universe

Embracing Blobhood

Bad Rachel!

Yes, I know- enter the realm of blog and you should make an effort to post on a regular basis. Lately, my inner blob seems to be running the show. Short attention span, spring fever, utter boredom. No motivation. The house is a mess, I still don't have steady employment. Last week, I had a major job interview, Sacred Circle, endless hours of alphabetizing files on a temp assignment and a major weekend. Two day artist and spiritual worker's event. I'm tired- all of this takes lots of energy. Moving takes energy. Thinking about moving takes energy... lately, my thought ranges to... hmmm, couch, library book.. hmmm... let's be a blob today.

I look around my house and cringe. My outer packrat is winning the war over my inner neatfreak. There are bits of projects EVERYWHERE. Stamps and scrapbook supplies overtaking the kitchen table. Thousands of beads in little cups overtaking the coffee table, laundry is slowly winning the bedroom territory. And, while most people have dustbunnies under the bed, mine have morphed into full grown, yapping standard sized dustpoodles. I might add that they grow vicious when attacked with a vacuum cleaner.

Irony- I love a clean, organized tranquil home. I have ADD- routine, order and organization are what allows me to function in the world. Truth- I loathe cleaning, organizing and always having to finish one project, clean it up and put it away as soon as it is complete. A gift of ADD is creativity sparks all the time- the flip side of the coin is you almost have to act on it immediately or it is gone forever. writing down only helps if you can find the bloody notebook to do so.

So was life last week- maybe tonight, I'll actually put sheets back on the bed. I stripped it 2 weeks ago.