Halloween 2009

Oh What a Glorious Night it was- a complete revisit to some of my favorite childhood memories. My cousin im'd me with an offer I couldn't possibly refuse- Harry and Jackie were bringing their two girls to come and spend Halloween with their daughter.

Scott wasn't kidding when he told me his neighborhood is like a Norman Rockwell Halloween scene out of a movie. Houses were decorated, families were out with their kids, the leaves were in full color and the rain held off long enough to hit the neighborhood's hot spots for candy.

I am amazed at how high tech the costumes are now. The fairy girls had skirts with twinkle lights in them. Not too many homemade costumes, which is what I remember doing through most of my childhood. Time passes- yes, I'm old. One of my all time favorite costumes was Halloween age 7, same age as Charlotte and Jessica are now- I went as Pippi Longstocking. I had the orange tights and my mom actually figured out how to get my hair to do the gravity-defying braids. It was a favorite story, given to me by family friends from Sweden.

Now, it's all about Harry Potter characters, some absolutely freakish Skeletor type villains and those old reliable superheroes. I was sorely tempted to come in Rennie Garb, but knowing the weather was not cooperating and we'd be doing a lot of walking, felt it better to dress in the spirit of the holiday and not take the attention away from the kids. Out came my Salem T=shirt, the witchy brew socks and an irresistible call back to childhood.

The kids were adorable- we had two little Hermionie Grangers and a Bat Girl raring to go. Jessica and Annie live in NYC, so this was their first true "suburban" Halloween. They made out like bandits.

I love Halloween- mulled cider, leaves swirling down, the little ones running off their sugar high and mostly, the simple fun of being allowed to become someone else for a few hours.

Life in Present Tense

I forced myself to ignore the temptation to do nothing this morning. Set the egg timer for 15 minutes and actually got some of the household chores accomplished. No mean feat- lately, I've been back in blobhood. Too many decision, too much stress and entirely too many changes all at once- but then again, this is life.

Dad called me a few minutes ago half checking in, half guilt trip as I've not had the physical or emotional energy by the end of the day pick up the phone and engage in a conversation. Actually, there was a nice sense of constancy in having the same discussion yet again- kind of like the familiar comfort of going back to whatever your childhood holiday celebration rituals entail and just knowing how to do it right.

Dad lives purely in the present tense. And, who can blame him? He has an amazing present to enjoy. Lots of friends, the best of all possible companions and plans- always, plans. There's a valuable lesson there- he's truly found himself in his 7th decade.

It's time to go make a plan for today.

Hearing the Music

Ah Bliss- a break from the Construction Concerto outside my bedroom window last night. And how sweet the sound of the rain coming down, clearing away all sorts of pollution. The little night sounds I love came back- the crickets, song of the nightbirds and in the distance, an alto hooting of the owl living the big tree in our backyard.

The owl and I are well acquainted. I thank my insomnia for the gift of those hours out on the deck. Over the years, I've listened for her familiar hooting and felt as though I wasn't alone in the dark. This year, there are new hootings in the choir. They are higher pitched and make me smile, for I believe there are owlets high up in the nest in our oak tree.

Mama Owl has many messages lately- which I need to slow down and learn to hear again. It is all to easy to get lost in the noise of life and forget to live it. For now, I'm shutting off all the electronic distractions and tuning into the music outside my window.

Breaking the Surface

Yes, I know- I've been MIA for many months. Finally employed, doing work I am actually qualified to do. Ideal fit, no- but at least I can do the work expected of me. It is a far better fit than my 16 month sentence in Energy Hell. I can say that my worst day at CellMark is still better than my best day at Dreyfus. And, a paycheck is a beautiful thing.

Now, I face and grapple with the knowledge that I am turning 40- in 16 short days. What have I done in the last 10 years? What are my goals, dreams and hopes for the next 10 years? Am I older and wiser? Can I reclaim that joyous child and learn to laugh and play in my 40's? I haven't done much of either in the past 20 years.

I wish my mom and grandmother were still around. I wonder what wisdom they would offer as I turn another decade. My mom was 40 when she had me. I'm still scheming for a dog, my first trip overseas and hopefully a house before I have to go into assisted living.

Guess time will reveal all.

Thankful?

Thanksgiving 2008. It is a chilly, but sunny day here in Connecticut. I've been to the cemetary to visit Mom's grave- and can't help but feel a bit bittersweet and sad today. Thanksgiving was always Mom's holiday to do- and not walking into her kitchen still feels wrong to me, even now, nearly 5 years later.

Shortly, I will drive to dad and shirely's place and we'll go for dinner. It won't be the same as sitting around Mom's candlit table, surrounded by the plates, smells and comforts of the traditions I've known since childhood, but it will still be good.

I am thankful- for Shirley's presence in my dad's life. For the great gift of the friends who surround me with love and support daily. For what level of health I do have available to me- and for not being further incapacitated from Lymes disease. For living in a country where we can speak up and cause change to happen.

Life is hard, but it is also good- we just need to take the time to look beneath the surface.

Bright Blessings, Peace and Love to all

Godpuppy DT's and Creative Frenzy

Oh Dear-
I returned home and puppy withdrawal hit full force. I missed that fuzzy face so much this week it wasn't funny. Not much going on to distract me either. Enter my beloved Stamping Cybergroup who set August 1st for our next swap deadline.

Holy Moly- I did all 7 of my artist trading cards for the swap this afternoon- now taking a break from cleaning up the creative vortex that occurred as a result. I'm really happy with this batch- my body is giving out, but the sense of humor is alive and kicking. You just have to love that I was doing beach themed ATC's while watching Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

I've posted my favorite of this grouping: Our theme was Red Hot Summer/Good Old Summertime. I just giggled my way through this one. My tongue in cheek homage to a New England classic- yummy clambakes on the beach. Fun to go to, but hell on earth to host, especially if you actually do this on the beach. Yes, the sand is authentic, from Calf Pasture Beach in Norwalk, Ct.

Tomorrow, they all get mailed to this month's ATC Swap host- and I impatiently await the newest miniature works of art from cyberspace. Well, it will be nice to get something aside from bills in the mail- it helps ease the monthly panic attack when I have to write the checks.

Adventures in Babysitting

All this week, I've been at my friends' condo puppysitting for Jack- aka Fuzzerbugger. It's been a long time since I last had a full time dog. I'm kind of rusty, but the routine comes back easily. Apparently, like riding a bike, you never forget.

And, he's very easy and fun. Loves to play and drag you through the park on walkies. Who knew that a 30 pound cockapoo is really a husky or malamute in disguise? The best though have been the amazing snuggle sessions. Heaven really is having a dog on the foot of your bed at night- except Jack's version is to sneak up until his head is next to yours on the pillow. I finally gave up on trying to get him to stay at the foot. As long as he leaves my teddy bear alone we're ok. this morning, i woke up with a head on my stomach and a paw over my hand. guess he's feeling nice and secure.

Yesterday, I took him to the real dog park, near my home. It was a place where the original godpuppy and I spent many happy hours walking shaded and peaceful trails. He loved it. And I wished I could let him off leash to play with the other dogs, but he is a Houndini and will escape if given a chance. He loved it- tons of new smells, lots of trees to claim and it was a nice place to be given the heat here this week. Jack jumped up on Muji's rock and barked his triumph to the world. He looked so proud of himself.

Of course, it isn't a godmommy visit without a trip to puppy toys 'r us. As if Jack didn't have enough toys already- he really did need a few more. His favorite new baby is a plush fish. He's been carrying it around with him everywhere. At one point Fishy was on my face and very soggy. Jack is smart- if you tell him to bring a specific toy he will. At least 2 hours a day are spent tossing toys up or down the steps. when i get tired doing it, he does it for himself.

I've had fun with him- and I'll certainly miss the boy when it is time for me to turn him back over to his mom and dad. at the same time, we stopped at home for a little while, and i found myself longing for my little hovel. there is always that awareness that you aren't in your own space. i miss the familiar noises, dustbunnies and being in my own clutter.

Time to walk the doggie!

Jack says woof to everyone out there.