Adventures in Babysitting

All this week, I've been at my friends' condo puppysitting for Jack- aka Fuzzerbugger. It's been a long time since I last had a full time dog. I'm kind of rusty, but the routine comes back easily. Apparently, like riding a bike, you never forget.

And, he's very easy and fun. Loves to play and drag you through the park on walkies. Who knew that a 30 pound cockapoo is really a husky or malamute in disguise? The best though have been the amazing snuggle sessions. Heaven really is having a dog on the foot of your bed at night- except Jack's version is to sneak up until his head is next to yours on the pillow. I finally gave up on trying to get him to stay at the foot. As long as he leaves my teddy bear alone we're ok. this morning, i woke up with a head on my stomach and a paw over my hand. guess he's feeling nice and secure.

Yesterday, I took him to the real dog park, near my home. It was a place where the original godpuppy and I spent many happy hours walking shaded and peaceful trails. He loved it. And I wished I could let him off leash to play with the other dogs, but he is a Houndini and will escape if given a chance. He loved it- tons of new smells, lots of trees to claim and it was a nice place to be given the heat here this week. Jack jumped up on Muji's rock and barked his triumph to the world. He looked so proud of himself.

Of course, it isn't a godmommy visit without a trip to puppy toys 'r us. As if Jack didn't have enough toys already- he really did need a few more. His favorite new baby is a plush fish. He's been carrying it around with him everywhere. At one point Fishy was on my face and very soggy. Jack is smart- if you tell him to bring a specific toy he will. At least 2 hours a day are spent tossing toys up or down the steps. when i get tired doing it, he does it for himself.

I've had fun with him- and I'll certainly miss the boy when it is time for me to turn him back over to his mom and dad. at the same time, we stopped at home for a little while, and i found myself longing for my little hovel. there is always that awareness that you aren't in your own space. i miss the familiar noises, dustbunnies and being in my own clutter.

Time to walk the doggie!

Jack says woof to everyone out there.

Summer Progress Commences

Greeting Minions,

Summer Progress through the shires and villages of the realm began yesterday. Lord Barney and I left the miscreant in the dungeon and enjoyed the sights, smells and sounds of our visit to Penniforth.

My knights and squires are seriously lacking. The joust was pitiful and the loser was scarce worth the effort of marination and spit roasting over the bonfire. And, the human chess match.. Great Goddess, these lumps of humanity need assistance.

We were joined by an acquantaince of the human and two tasty morsels. Alas, the human slipped calm draught into my mead, so I was unable to partake of the delicacies. It might be worth faking "good behavior and social skills" to avoid being drugged. Bah! I am a dragon- I SHALL BE SNARKY! Besides, I am ruler of all known realms and universes, what I say shall be.

There were excellent artisans- at least there, my subjects are up to standard. I came home with moldavite and a lovely wooden rune box. Rook is in high favor in the court- her woodburned boxes are suitable for royal dragons.

Alas, court matters prevail- live as Empress is never quiet.

Until we journey again,

Cordelia

An AHA! Moment

It has been a week of indulging in a full out blue funk. To hell with it- i needed it- and I'm not done yet. I try hard not to drag everyone else into it. I just go into my little bear cave and hibernate. Dad started this round. I love the dude, but we just don't get each other.

Conversations with dad go something like this.. hi dad, i'm tired, no, no job yet, still looking.. and 3 minutes later, we have the conversation again- and again. My patience level is shot.

Some of this funk is stemming from lymes treatment. Lots of it came from the disaster of my actual birthday. Even more is the uncertainty of not knowing where next month's expenses are going to come from in time. Rockbottom is never a good place to be- especially if you're not sure how to keep pushing the rock back up the hill.

Over the weekend, my friends kidnapped me and we celebrated my birthday. It was the one thing that got me out of the house last week. How wonderful to be with people who know you, love you and understand that sometimes, you just can't fake and grit your teeth, politely lie or pretend to be in a good mood or feeling well. And somewhere that night, the funk lifted. A simple, low key evening- and absolutely perfect for me. Homecooked dinner, the fuzzerbugger racing around with his toys, playing taboo for the first time. I wish I could have been there for my actual birthday, rather than at a fancy country club with a room full of strangers.

One of my gifts was a little magnet that reads, "friends are the family you choose for yourself" and how true it is. The more my blood family irritates me, the more I appreciate my friends.

So, there is my AHA! moment- and I bottle the laughter from our evening of playing Taboo and watching Jack race around the condo like a hyperactive energizer bunny. Uncork and enjoy as needed.

Drifting Along

Seems to be the theme of my days now. An endless cycle of logging in, checking the job websites, maybe an interview- and then attempting to figure out what to do with the remaining 14 hours in the day- that doesn't involve spending money.

Maybe it is the heat of summer or the realization that if I walk out the door, I'm going to spend money. Or, it could simply be that I reached my final birthday in my 30's. That was a stunning realization. Oh my god- where did the last 10 years go? Irony? I'm in EXACTLY the same place I was this time 10 years ago. Out of work, facing a career change and freaking out about money. Scary- you bet. 5 year plan.... yeah, right- 'scuse me while i fall on the floor and laugh my #ss off.

I sat here yesterday and indulged in a good, old fashioned pity party. Yes, I'd like some whine for the cheese. And, why shouldn't I? Right after I got fired- or released from Energy Hell as I prefer to think of it, I hit the ground running. I was calling recruiters as I left the parking garage. Rather like the time immediately after someone dies, I got distracted with survival mode, making sure plans were made, unemployment and health insurance arranged- somewhere in there, I forgot to allow myself some time to cry, get pissed and grieve. I miss my paycheck. I miss the few friends I had there more.

Now, the constant rejection settles in- and it is sometimes hard to keep positive. I turned down an offer, early into my search because I knew it wasn't enough to support me. Now, comes the second guessing. I'm horrible with free time on my hands- and not so disciplined with sitting down to "work" on finding a job every single day.

And, having lymes has made me shift in different directions. When you have 4 good hours a day, how do you make the most of them? Lately, my days and nights are totally shifted- they've been doing construction at night, right below my bedroom window for months. I begin to twitch at the sight of a construction worker now. Maybe the Vampire Blood Bank has openings?

No answers, only more questions. Maybe one of these days I'll figure out what I'm supposed to do when I grow up- or not.

Her Snarkiness Speaks....

Greetings Minions,
The human is out of the house and being the absent minded ditz, left the computer operational.

News from the Realm:
My enforced winter exile draws to a close in a few short weeks. Arrangements for summer progress will begin soon. It is time for us to journey to the distant borders of our realm and keep the peasants in good order.

Progress is a joyous time. We escape our human keepers, greet the public, wreak havoc at the pavilions and frolic with the the court musicians. The rule of the Faire- dragons always win. Our reward is the loser of the joust. And, tasty they are indeed. Marinated and spit roasted knight- quite the delicacy, especially when accompanied by a fine mead. Ah, rustic living- at times, playing peasant is an amusing diversion.

By some planetary disaster, a hatchling has entered our midst. She is petite, pink, flighty and extraordinarily odd. She happily slobbers on rose quartz. It is my duty to sit upon her and school her in proper dragon snark and etiquette. Thankfully, she does not reside in Palace Mayne. Poor Lord Barney- he has his claws full. Last I saw him, he was looking decidedly frazzled. Note to Human- obtain gin for him. IMMEDIATELY!

And, the Human returns.. must attend to pressing business in the realm.

C
Empress of the Entire Universe

Patience may be a virtue, but.....

Maybe it is an overrated one. Patience escapes me. I've been waiting to hear feedback on a flurry of job interviews this week, waiting for test results to see if the lymes levels dropped in my system, very eagerly awaiting a delivery of new rubber stamps from my favorite source and most of all, waiting to hear what I'm supposed to do next with my life.


Early this morning, I had the thought of pulling out a tarot deck and reading for myself. It's been quite some time. Generally, if I'm in full out ADD mode I can't even shuffle a deck. It takes focus to read. I don't use tarot cards in my bedroom- opens too many channels for thought and that keeps me from resting at night.

Also had a thought to do some cleaning, but I got over it quickly. Right now, I'm watching from the bedroom window to pounce as soon as the mail hits the box. If the stamps arrive today, I can finish my project. That would be a wonderful feeling- and once the project is done, I'll feel like getting organized.

The tempo of my days lately seems to be presto and adagio- hurry up and wait. Not my favorite song, but for now, I have to learn how to stay with the orchestra.

Chaos 10, Order 0

If I could find the digital camera, I'd take photos to show the current state of my hovel. Lordy, it is getting the best of me for sure. Hello TLC? Please send out the hoarder's intervention team.

Last trip to Borders, I was browsing through the Fly Lady's books. I like the idea of 15 minute segments. May be just the right ticket- since I have ADD and the attention span of a flea lately. I think I can stick with one task for 15 minutes. Maybe.


In keeping with the upheaval theme, I have a cable company dude crawling on the roof, half my living room torn apart and now, I may have to empty the closet to give him access to a cable wire. The cable company made me switch to digital cable, and since then, the tv is having hissy fits. Yes, I need to clean out the closet. Yes, it is time to find my summer clothes. No, I have absolutely no desire to do this. I just lucked out- no need to empty the closet. And, no need to replace my television set. Huge relief on all sides. I don't have the money to replace the tv set and lack the energy to tackle my closet.

Now, if those wonderful little pile blasting house-elves would come home, I'd be all set.