Did You Remember to Make a LIfe Today?

Back into the questioning place.  After a few challenging weeks at the office, a gift I purchased for a friend who  escaped yesterday keeps sticking in my mind.  It was a small wooden sign with "never be so busy making a living that your forget to make a life" painted on the front of it.

Hmmm.   The wheels in my sleep deprived, overworked and stressed out brain are spinning- much like  a sugar jagged 2 year old after a birthday party.    I chipped in for the office powerball pool and can't help but think about what I"d do if  work was by choice, rather than by force.    

As I read the emails going around about everyone's plans should we win,  it just drove home how much I DON'T  fit in with the majority of the people I see daily.   The guys were all about the sports cars,  boats  and season skybox seats at sporting events.  My boss was all about the shoe and bag collection and helping her family.    Almost everyone said they wouldn't work another day.  EVER.   I got a lot of WTF? replies when this was my response....

I won't be in Monday.  Taking Dad to the Mercedes dealer to repay every sacrifice, extra job and generous thing he's done to help me- with interest.   And then, I will begin to work again- in a capacity that provides comfort, care and service to those in need.    

No desire for a big fancy house, luxury car or more stuff.   My dream home is  under 2000 sqf,  a well designed cottage. In fact, tucked into my bookshelves is a notebook that has the house plan that I clipped out of a magazine 10 years ago.    It is just big enough to provide a master suite, dedicated guest room with bath, a great kitchen and a room that would become my craft studio.   There's a cozy alcove with built in bookshelves and room for a comfy chair, reading lamp and a table to rest my mug of tea.   One floor.  Wider hallways and doorways.  Shower that could accommodate a wheel chair or walker.   Right- small house, less stuff.  More  life. 

But I'm a practical girl.  While it's nice to dream about winning numbers,  I live in the real world.  It's rough, gritty and often cruel- but I can work with that.  It is my job, it isn't my Work.  Job is soulless, often thankless.   But what I see as my Work in the world is the polar opposite.   I think the creativity was a gift, given so that I could help others now that I can't physically handle Habitat for Humanity and soup kitchens.   There is a lot of comfort and help given to others with a skein of yarn, a crochet hook and a few hours of work.  

What does Making A Life look like?  If you could release the stranglehold of working for daily survival and do anything at all,what would you do?

Back in time, fast forward ahead

I've come to the conclusion that my world has grown much smaller over the past several years, while others around me have seen their worlds grow much larger in scope.   And the challenge is not to be resentful or jealous.   Well hell, nobody ever said being human was easy.  Maybe I'll get lucky and come back as one of my godpuppies in the next life.

I was hope sick with pneumonia again and had a small burst of energy.  I was looking for a folder of sewing patterns but found something else in the process.  One last folder of college/graduate school papers.   This must have been part of a career counseling workshop during senior year.  Never doubt- the Universe does have divine timing and a sense of humor.   I guess I needed a visit with my 20 year old self last week to restore perspective.  

Some of the list:
Complete a masters in elementary education
Make a positive difference in kids' lives
Become a special education teacher/ guidance  counselor
Help others in a meaningful way
Have a family
Restore my dream house
Be a service dog puppy raiser
Travel
Learn to sketch
Learn to cook
Stay in shape
Continue learning
Keep in touch with friends
Be independent in everything
Be secure in  who I am
Make those who doubt I can succeed eat their words
Stay involved with community service projects
Spend time with the elderly and the very young
Keep laughing through my challenges
Embrace life for what it is- even when it sucks 

It was interesting to see how my 20 year old vision measures up against my approaching 44 year old reality.   I've accomplished some of this list.  Other goals didn't happen.   Some may still be possible.   Dad and I have been talking about end of life plans- for him, for my sister and for myself.  Life is unpredictable and these conversations need to happen while everyone is capable.   Revisiting this list reminded me to not allow my world to get too small.  

That 20 year old had some wise ideas about how to live life.   Maybe I should start tackling this list again- with purpose.