It is interesting to see the stillness that arrives with Christmas Day. All the bustle, activity, frenzy and "have to get it all dones" cease. And the majority of the world who celebrates the holiday finally breathes long enough to actually, well celebrate the spirit of the day.
For those of us who don't celebrate Christmas, we get a lot of curious questions about what we do instead. The traditional Jewish Christmas is usually a drive around the empty main drags and a movie followed by Chinese food. I've spent the bulk of the day doing laundry, working through a whole lot of house clutter, finishing off a project and now, just now, finally settling into stillness.
Christmas reminds me of that one breath of moment on Yom Kippur, just as the first star appears and the shofar is blown for the final call- it is when the gates of heaven are open and your transgressions are forgiven- and you step over the threshold of a new year, ready for a fresh beginning.
Solstice is much the same- but this year, I was not physically or energetically able to join within meditation or celebration. The message came through- BE STILL.
So, I embrace the challenge to now let go, relax and be still.
Blessings on this Winter Solstice and Christmas 2009
Rachel
Friday, December 25, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
8 Days of Chanukah... and a Blizzard!
Today was our family Chanukah party. In years past, this major family event was hosted in Greenwich Village by our great aunt and uncle. There were lots of games, food, family and of course, the gifts. I remember those parties very well- the dreidal games, my great aunt's bottomless candy dishes and great aunts and uncles who loved nothing more than indulging the grand-nieces and nephews. What touched us the most was that my sister was always remembered by some of the great aunts and uncles, even though she went into institutional care at age 6.
Now sadly, Nanny and Pappy have crossed over- where Nanny is no doubt winning bridge hands and Pappy is entertaining at the piano. And yet, the more things change, the more things stay the same. But, I always miss them most this time of year- because the family Chanukah party is part of my earliest memories- and they continued well into adulthood-the Robins/Himmell family are tough old birds. Every single one of them made it to at least 94.
My aunt and uncle have taken over the tradition now. There are young cousins- and it is comforting to see them enjoy as much as we did. It doesn't matter that they are celebrating Christmas and Chanukah. What does matter is that my cousins are allowing my aunt to instill those good family memories in the kids. My aunt went all out- the tablecloth, napkins, condiment spreaders were all Chanukah themed. She really lives for these family events- and I know how hard it is on her physically. So, I am grateful for the effort- even though my inner Pagan is screaming, "STOP THE HOLIDAY MADNESS!"
Today, we gathered around the table to kosher deli, homemade applesauce and potato latkes. We lit the menorah, sang the candle blessings and traditional songs. My cousins and I sat on the floor with the kids and played dreidel for gold chocolate coins. We were surrounded by photos of all the great aunts and uncles, so it was kind of like old times again. I never could figure out how 150 people squeezed into Nanny and Pappy's apartment, but somehow it worked.
And, finally, the kids got their rewards. Oh boy, did they get their rewards. Much as I bitched about the extra holiday shopping, when the kids opened their ITune and Build A Bear Cards, it was all worth it. And, I got a surprise gift- the girls' parents are setting up a date for the kids to go to the big Build A Bear store on 5th Avenue- and invited me to come along for a very special shopping trip.
I am reminded that family is very important- and while I still prefer the peace and tranquility of my friends' company, slowly we grow closer as adults than we ever were as kids.
Some very nice moments this afternoon- and Dad, wisely kept his distance. And now, I'm unplugging and enjoying our blizzard.
Blessings,
Rachel
Now sadly, Nanny and Pappy have crossed over- where Nanny is no doubt winning bridge hands and Pappy is entertaining at the piano. And yet, the more things change, the more things stay the same. But, I always miss them most this time of year- because the family Chanukah party is part of my earliest memories- and they continued well into adulthood-the Robins/Himmell family are tough old birds. Every single one of them made it to at least 94.
My aunt and uncle have taken over the tradition now. There are young cousins- and it is comforting to see them enjoy as much as we did. It doesn't matter that they are celebrating Christmas and Chanukah. What does matter is that my cousins are allowing my aunt to instill those good family memories in the kids. My aunt went all out- the tablecloth, napkins, condiment spreaders were all Chanukah themed. She really lives for these family events- and I know how hard it is on her physically. So, I am grateful for the effort- even though my inner Pagan is screaming, "STOP THE HOLIDAY MADNESS!"
Today, we gathered around the table to kosher deli, homemade applesauce and potato latkes. We lit the menorah, sang the candle blessings and traditional songs. My cousins and I sat on the floor with the kids and played dreidel for gold chocolate coins. We were surrounded by photos of all the great aunts and uncles, so it was kind of like old times again. I never could figure out how 150 people squeezed into Nanny and Pappy's apartment, but somehow it worked.
And, finally, the kids got their rewards. Oh boy, did they get their rewards. Much as I bitched about the extra holiday shopping, when the kids opened their ITune and Build A Bear Cards, it was all worth it. And, I got a surprise gift- the girls' parents are setting up a date for the kids to go to the big Build A Bear store on 5th Avenue- and invited me to come along for a very special shopping trip.
I am reminded that family is very important- and while I still prefer the peace and tranquility of my friends' company, slowly we grow closer as adults than we ever were as kids.
Some very nice moments this afternoon- and Dad, wisely kept his distance. And now, I'm unplugging and enjoying our blizzard.
Blessings,
Rachel
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Spin Little Spider, Spin
At all too early o'clock this morning, I was staring at my bedroom ceiling watching a spider busily weaving a web in one of the corners.
My first thought was what the hell am I doing up so early. The second: Girl, get this house cleaned up now! And, the third was a bit more profound- wow, the patterns in that web are stunning- beautiful in their own way and design.
I have to love the way messages arrive. That was such a kicker into my overtired, overstressed, sleep deprived brain. It was a reminder from the Angel Jophiel to slow down and shift perspective. She is the guardian of creativity, interior designers and inspires beauty in home environments. Most people see a spider and come running with the tissue to smoosh and flush. In my world, spiders are to respect, not fear. Grandmother Spider is the builder, architect and ultimate interior designer. Those webs are a engineering miracle if you really look at one, before whacking it and the poor architect with a broom.
Like Grandma Spider in my bedroom ceiling corner, I"ve been busy weaving lately. Holiday preparations, helping plan a 50th birthday party, family drama, work- but unlike my little 8 legged friend, my results aren't always as tangible, or as lovely. I didn't quite have the heart to kill the spider, but I did gently shoo it outside.
It did inspire me to pull out the Medicine Cards again- and in my reading tonight, the Spider card made an appearance. It is the medicine of careful planning, building and patience. Think about it- the spider does not immediately consume its prey. There is something to be said about slowing down to savor the good things in life. It takes time and patience to weave a solid, sound web.
Blessings
Rachel
My first thought was what the hell am I doing up so early. The second: Girl, get this house cleaned up now! And, the third was a bit more profound- wow, the patterns in that web are stunning- beautiful in their own way and design.
I have to love the way messages arrive. That was such a kicker into my overtired, overstressed, sleep deprived brain. It was a reminder from the Angel Jophiel to slow down and shift perspective. She is the guardian of creativity, interior designers and inspires beauty in home environments. Most people see a spider and come running with the tissue to smoosh and flush. In my world, spiders are to respect, not fear. Grandmother Spider is the builder, architect and ultimate interior designer. Those webs are a engineering miracle if you really look at one, before whacking it and the poor architect with a broom.
Like Grandma Spider in my bedroom ceiling corner, I"ve been busy weaving lately. Holiday preparations, helping plan a 50th birthday party, family drama, work- but unlike my little 8 legged friend, my results aren't always as tangible, or as lovely. I didn't quite have the heart to kill the spider, but I did gently shoo it outside.
It did inspire me to pull out the Medicine Cards again- and in my reading tonight, the Spider card made an appearance. It is the medicine of careful planning, building and patience. Think about it- the spider does not immediately consume its prey. There is something to be said about slowing down to savor the good things in life. It takes time and patience to weave a solid, sound web.
Blessings
Rachel
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Halloween 2009
Oh What a Glorious Night it was- a complete revisit to some of my favorite childhood memories. My cousin im'd me with an offer I couldn't possibly refuse- Harry and Jackie were bringing their two girls to come and spend Halloween with their daughter.
Scott wasn't kidding when he told me his neighborhood is like a Norman Rockwell Halloween scene out of a movie. Houses were decorated, families were out with their kids, the leaves were in full color and the rain held off long enough to hit the neighborhood's hot spots for candy.
I am amazed at how high tech the costumes are now. The fairy girls had skirts with twinkle lights in them. Not too many homemade costumes, which is what I remember doing through most of my childhood. Time passes- yes, I'm old. One of my all time favorite costumes was Halloween age 7, same age as Charlotte and Jessica are now- I went as Pippi Longstocking. I had the orange tights and my mom actually figured out how to get my hair to do the gravity-defying braids. It was a favorite story, given to me by family friends from Sweden.
Now, it's all about Harry Potter characters, some absolutely freakish Skeletor type villains and those old reliable superheroes. I was sorely tempted to come in Rennie Garb, but knowing the weather was not cooperating and we'd be doing a lot of walking, felt it better to dress in the spirit of the holiday and not take the attention away from the kids. Out came my Salem T=shirt, the witchy brew socks and an irresistible call back to childhood.
The kids were adorable- we had two little Hermionie Grangers and a Bat Girl raring to go. Jessica and Annie live in NYC, so this was their first true "suburban" Halloween. They made out like bandits.
I love Halloween- mulled cider, leaves swirling down, the little ones running off their sugar high and mostly, the simple fun of being allowed to become someone else for a few hours.
Scott wasn't kidding when he told me his neighborhood is like a Norman Rockwell Halloween scene out of a movie. Houses were decorated, families were out with their kids, the leaves were in full color and the rain held off long enough to hit the neighborhood's hot spots for candy.
I am amazed at how high tech the costumes are now. The fairy girls had skirts with twinkle lights in them. Not too many homemade costumes, which is what I remember doing through most of my childhood. Time passes- yes, I'm old. One of my all time favorite costumes was Halloween age 7, same age as Charlotte and Jessica are now- I went as Pippi Longstocking. I had the orange tights and my mom actually figured out how to get my hair to do the gravity-defying braids. It was a favorite story, given to me by family friends from Sweden.
Now, it's all about Harry Potter characters, some absolutely freakish Skeletor type villains and those old reliable superheroes. I was sorely tempted to come in Rennie Garb, but knowing the weather was not cooperating and we'd be doing a lot of walking, felt it better to dress in the spirit of the holiday and not take the attention away from the kids. Out came my Salem T=shirt, the witchy brew socks and an irresistible call back to childhood.
The kids were adorable- we had two little Hermionie Grangers and a Bat Girl raring to go. Jessica and Annie live in NYC, so this was their first true "suburban" Halloween. They made out like bandits.
I love Halloween- mulled cider, leaves swirling down, the little ones running off their sugar high and mostly, the simple fun of being allowed to become someone else for a few hours.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Life in Present Tense
I forced myself to ignore the temptation to do nothing this morning. Set the egg timer for 15 minutes and actually got some of the household chores accomplished. No mean feat- lately, I've been back in blobhood. Too many decision, too much stress and entirely too many changes all at once- but then again, this is life.
Dad called me a few minutes ago half checking in, half guilt trip as I've not had the physical or emotional energy by the end of the day pick up the phone and engage in a conversation. Actually, there was a nice sense of constancy in having the same discussion yet again- kind of like the familiar comfort of going back to whatever your childhood holiday celebration rituals entail and just knowing how to do it right.
Dad lives purely in the present tense. And, who can blame him? He has an amazing present to enjoy. Lots of friends, the best of all possible companions and plans- always, plans. There's a valuable lesson there- he's truly found himself in his 7th decade.
It's time to go make a plan for today.
Dad called me a few minutes ago half checking in, half guilt trip as I've not had the physical or emotional energy by the end of the day pick up the phone and engage in a conversation. Actually, there was a nice sense of constancy in having the same discussion yet again- kind of like the familiar comfort of going back to whatever your childhood holiday celebration rituals entail and just knowing how to do it right.
Dad lives purely in the present tense. And, who can blame him? He has an amazing present to enjoy. Lots of friends, the best of all possible companions and plans- always, plans. There's a valuable lesson there- he's truly found himself in his 7th decade.
It's time to go make a plan for today.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Hearing the Music
Ah Bliss- a break from the Construction Concerto outside my bedroom window last night. And how sweet the sound of the rain coming down, clearing away all sorts of pollution. The little night sounds I love came back- the crickets, song of the nightbirds and in the distance, an alto hooting of the owl living the big tree in our backyard.
The owl and I are well acquainted. I thank my insomnia for the gift of those hours out on the deck. Over the years, I've listened for her familiar hooting and felt as though I wasn't alone in the dark. This year, there are new hootings in the choir. They are higher pitched and make me smile, for I believe there are owlets high up in the nest in our oak tree.
Mama Owl has many messages lately- which I need to slow down and learn to hear again. It is all to easy to get lost in the noise of life and forget to live it. For now, I'm shutting off all the electronic distractions and tuning into the music outside my window.
The owl and I are well acquainted. I thank my insomnia for the gift of those hours out on the deck. Over the years, I've listened for her familiar hooting and felt as though I wasn't alone in the dark. This year, there are new hootings in the choir. They are higher pitched and make me smile, for I believe there are owlets high up in the nest in our oak tree.
Mama Owl has many messages lately- which I need to slow down and learn to hear again. It is all to easy to get lost in the noise of life and forget to live it. For now, I'm shutting off all the electronic distractions and tuning into the music outside my window.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Breaking the Surface
Yes, I know- I've been MIA for many months. Finally employed, doing work I am actually qualified to do. Ideal fit, no- but at least I can do the work expected of me. It is a far better fit than my 16 month sentence in Energy Hell. I can say that my worst day at CellMark is still better than my best day at Dreyfus. And, a paycheck is a beautiful thing.
Now, I face and grapple with the knowledge that I am turning 40- in 16 short days. What have I done in the last 10 years? What are my goals, dreams and hopes for the next 10 years? Am I older and wiser? Can I reclaim that joyous child and learn to laugh and play in my 40's? I haven't done much of either in the past 20 years.
I wish my mom and grandmother were still around. I wonder what wisdom they would offer as I turn another decade. My mom was 40 when she had me. I'm still scheming for a dog, my first trip overseas and hopefully a house before I have to go into assisted living.
Guess time will reveal all.
Now, I face and grapple with the knowledge that I am turning 40- in 16 short days. What have I done in the last 10 years? What are my goals, dreams and hopes for the next 10 years? Am I older and wiser? Can I reclaim that joyous child and learn to laugh and play in my 40's? I haven't done much of either in the past 20 years.
I wish my mom and grandmother were still around. I wonder what wisdom they would offer as I turn another decade. My mom was 40 when she had me. I'm still scheming for a dog, my first trip overseas and hopefully a house before I have to go into assisted living.
Guess time will reveal all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)