The word for this month is OOOOOFFFFF!!!! Holy cow- no sooner did I post my first blog and I was invited to go take a walk to HR. It was gory. My time in energy hell is over. Interesting, I was dead calm, my boss was in tears. I held it together until I hit the car and then the how am I going to survive panic attack commenced. Doesn't matter that you know it is inevitable and prepared- when it happens, it is a solid punch to the solar plexus and it takes weeks to get your breath back again.
I am a student of the Tarot. Indeed, I have about 20 different decks lurking around the house when I'm in need of lessons, inspiration and insight. Most have a tendancy to give me readings that well, kick my tush- hard. And, lately, I'm reminded of how much my life resembles the Fool (Card 0) in his/her journey through the deck.
The Fool is all innocence- eyes wide open, everything is new, opportunities and possibilities. Most decks show a young adult, male or female carrying everything needed, neatly tied McGyver style into a bundle on a stick. Faithful dogger by your side for company and to keep you from happily skipping over the cliff. To date, our Fool has met a number of wise teachers and received good counsel. And, now we come to the middle, pivotal place in the journey- card number 10- the Wheel of Fortune.
I ponder the numbers. I was fired on 3/7. 3+7=10- card number 10? Right, the Wheel. Card number three is the Empress- the mommy card. Nurture, creativity, fertile ideas. Card number 7? The chariot- all about staying balanced to keep the chariot moving ahead and the wheels from getting stuck in the sand. Yipes! The Wheel is about cycles. It is a breath before our Fool meets the life impacting heavy hitters in the Devil, Death and Tower cards. Beginnings, Endings and spinning around the wheel to see where the next path begins.
Alas, I am no longer that happy innocent Fool. took the risk, went over the edge of the cliff in bliss- have the bruised ego to prove it. And, I have no idea of what I'm supposed to do next. Scary yes- exciting as well. Maybe it is time to go back to school or push TreeSpirit out there and see if I can make a go of doing the creative, spiritual work I love.
I did a reading right before I posted this blog... so typical of my life: 3 cards- body, mind, spirit.
2 of Swords Fool Reversed Wheel of Fortune
Basically, stuck by analysis paralysis, possibilities limited, needing to be careful and aware of surroundings and cycles occurring again.
It is a good thing I have a sense of humor and am too stubborn to give up. Moving back in with Dad and his girlfriend is so not an option.
Blessed Be,
Rachel
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